Van I am

I am embarrassed to say that there is one magic button I cannot get enough of. Minds out of the gutter, gals…I am not talking about what goes on in the boudoir. In fact, I am talking about the automatic door button on my 2006 Honda Odyssey XL. Not only is my car the smoothest ride out there, it is by far the most practical as well. Pushing that button and letting my little tribe of Indians hop in and out couldn’t be easier. I remain convinced that anyone with 3 or more children is missing the boat by not driving one of these rigs. I am constantly selling myself on one point: what the van lacks in style, it makes up for in practicality ten-fold. Right. Right? As you can sense, lately I’ve been starting to becoming increasingly aware of how totally uncool my car truly is.

My love/hate relationship with these beasts goes back to my teenage years, when the first Dodge Caravans came onto the market. I remember seeing a woman driving one in my neighborhood, and only one word came to mind: LOSER. I am certain this woman probably wore Chic jeans with zippers on the bottom. Her husband probably wore Wranglers. She probably circled around the neighborhood dropping kids off at play dates while listening to Eddie Rabbit, Lionel Richie, and Shannon. (And to imagine that I thought my family was so much cooler with our massive Chevy station wagon that had fake wood down the sides). Someday in the not-too-distant future I’ll be the yummy mummy in the sporty little car. But for now, it’s me, myself, and the loser cruiser.

I’ve started to really try harder at cleaning my van as well. I figure if I can keep it a little cleaner it might seem a little less depressing to drive. Van or SUV, you can probably relate…does your vehicle also look as if a small tornado occurred inside? I’m waiting for an insurance adjuster to knock on my window one of these days at a traffic light saying that my husband called them to come and assess the damage. On any given day, you could easily host a scavenger hunt for a dozen small children in my car. Among the treasures they might find: crushed goldfish, gnawed-on straws from leftover juice boxes, random toys, a stray mitten, an empty Dunkin’ Donuts, a scratched CD with no case, an overdue library book for which I’ve received several notices but have NO idea where it has gone, and maybe even a smashed-up lipstick from one of the rare times I actually intended to try and deck myself out for the preschool pick-up line.

Stand by your van. Love the van you’re with. The answer my friend is driving in the van. Sweet Vanofmine. On the Road again (in my van, of course). I’m lovin’ this van of mine.

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