Epic Fashion Fail: Black Leggings

With all things fashion, I’m typically around two years behind the trend.  I got my first pair of skinny jeans last year, finally bought a long down coat, and received a pair of Hunter boots for Christmas this year.  I still have my eye on UGGS, and one of these days, just as they probably go out of style, I’ll own a pair.

It should come as no surprise that I’ve fallen flat with another attempt at being stylish: black leggings.  Friends have been wearing them for years.  I have fairly long legs, so I thought they might be a good choice for my shape.  Always hesitant to overcommit to something new, I found a basic pair of 100% cotton leggings at T.J. Maxx for $7.99.  At such an affordable price point, how could I go wrong?

Cue the three little fashion critics living under my roof, and things started to quickly unravel.  Actually, my son usually doesn’t have anything to add to the discussion, but this time he was right in there with the girls when I came parading out of my room, proud as a peacock with my new look.  I paired the leggings with a long wool Kuhl sweater.  As I quickly found out, the sweater was apparently not long enough.

My eldest daughter was first to offer her comments: “Oh my!  Those leggings really show off your butt mom!”  The tone implied that my eleven year old thought my ass looked big and, if she were seventeen, she would have bluntly told me so.

My younger daughter then weighed in, “Mom, I can really see the outline of your underwear?”  She said it in the form of a question, as if to imply that she didn’t know if I was aware of my glaring pantyline issues.

My son was in his room reading on his bed, oblivious to the commentary.  I walked down the hall, certain I would find a compliment waiting for me, if I baited him well.  He spoke before I had a chance to ask how he liked my outfit.  “Mom, you forgot to put your skirt on over your tights!” he said with a humored smile, before returning to his book.  Long pause.  Sigh.  Returned to bedroom to swap out the attempt at style for my yoga pants and Patagonia better sweater.


Note: Unfortunately this is NOT me in the picture.  Whomever she is, I probably could have used her help before attempting the leggings outfit at home.

Defeated and discouraged, I’m taking a new look at the leggings before going out in public.  Thank goodness for my children, who increasingly seem to know everything about everything, including the fact that their mother is inept in the fashion department.  I like to think I make up for it in other areas.  Regardless,  it begs the question: how did I ever function before having kids!?!




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